Disabled

This morning, an disabled old man came into my mind.. I learnt something


Old people, despite weak and frail, had a hidden enormous power.. Experience.. when they tell stories, they teach people great things about life.. Despite their pain, they learn from it.. their pain don't go away..


I felt that I must learn to brace this pain with me.. I'm permanently disabled in this area.. The pain is still here.. But I must learn to walk with it.. to bear the pain..

when I said pain, sometimes its REALLY like a sword through.. when I read her friend's poems that really moved people.. the pain is indescribable.. the most hurting ones are her friends' goodbyes..

But I'm sick of ignoring it.. Neither will I get immune to this pain so fast.. part of myself WANTED this pain to stay.. because its the only way I can feel her memories.. How strong can I walk, will I even endure through, I do not know. I can only walk as far as I can..

Why is this simple mental pain can be so devastating for me? Like it's just a heart pain.. come on its not even physical.. what I'm talking about enduring is not physical.. Neither will I really collapse due to this mental pain.. that's not what I'm talking about.. well.. Neither will I know what kind of outcome will come from this mental pain.. I do not know.. But it hurts, internally.. Sometimes it's indescribable.

:)