Heartbroken

Tonight I cried out loud..

I want one thing: I don't want to ignore my pain.. I've been shoveling this issue for the past few days.. I don't want to just ignore it.. I want this pain taken away.. I will never defeat this pain..

The pain of her physical remains I get each time I see her postings, her chat log.. I don't want to ignore it..

I don't know when will this pain get the out of my life.. ARGHH!!!


Even the joy of seeing I passed everything this semester, is not my remedy.. it's only a temporary joy.. Its not the real cure.. Money nor grades is the cure to this pain.

I do not want to bury myself into activities to forget about this. That's my way. I want to face the pain and want it disappear even though I am helpless.. I face the pain to be slaughtered.. But I do not want to run away, ignore it.. by burying myself with games, or work.