long time never type

coz i dunoe wad to type.. basically, i'm not well.. i'm an emo kid k, i put up facades

reason is very luan.. i don't know how to phrase it.. i've been very bad the past few days.. i even ignored a plea..


i'm going to follow an advice now.. it's hidden somewhere in this blog if you are extremely bored and wants to find it.. not that hidden la.. but that's what im going to do now..



ok since i'm typing.. let me try to figure out why i slip the past few days..

BECAUSE IT HURTS!!! I thought so much of her I already grew tired of the pain.. argh.. plus i'm not showing it to people in my face.. so basically past few days i stayed at home and did nothing.. just sleep play.. i DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF HER! in fact i hate to click all the sites that has her farewells.. because it hurts..

i stop sharing to people the past few days.. including my grief support site, my favourite place recently.. i see that other people have faced much more difficulties than me.. I'm scared of people scolding me..

then i got so fed up i rant on the site in one post.. saying I'm really just pretending I'm well.. I've bottled up alot of stuff.. so i put up a rant post..

then i went to sleep.. before i slept, i complain : Why are we forced to break up our friendship!! But I know friendships cannot be broken by other people.. i admired this sweet bitterness as i slept..