disclaimer: you come here to read my posts, you hav to forgive my christian references.. no matter how stupid u tink i am.. but dun worrie.. im not hardcore pounding christian >_<

the music playing now: my favourite music.. a credit of a game ending : Earthbound..


kyo wa, jyu go no march ni sen nana
15 march 2007






i remembered one of rh's fren sending me a song.. "Midori No Hibi- Mou Sukoshi".. she said it's rh's favourite song.. haha i cudnt find anything nice about it.. just that i find the singing is quite relaxed la... well looks like i'm a more musical person.. (my favourite songs is mostly background music nia)


well i decided to look for the anime.. its called Midori No Hibi.. the story:

A high school girl who had this secret crush on this guy for 3 years.. wished she wanted to be parted of him.. it came true, literally..

this high school guy, who can fight over 10 ppl at once, got a fame as a powerful gangster.. but in reality he fights to protect the weak.. due to his reputation, no girls wanted to be with him..

one fine morning, he wakes up to find his right fist, his fighting fist, replaced by.. a girl..

the girl's real body is in a coma..


so i spent 2 afternoons to watch.. very funny anime!! the drawings are very cute.. its a romance anime.. but it makes so much sense in my life la.. well partly :X.. u can say shes the girl in coma la... there was a scene showing her family calling all kinds of wierd shamans to revive her.. but no cure.. her mum said "we must try anything possible" including the possibility of a prince kissing a princess to revive her.. well i call it the "doraemon" style.. IF only there was a way to revive her, or if only she is alive somehow..

well we noe in reality lots of things in animes and fairytales just doesnt happen.. no kissing and revive, no tear drops and it touches the person's heart, no miracle jewel, no time reverse.. thats why doraemon is so popular.. the concept of fulfilling impossible wishes in the future.. thats wad humans wish for, right? thats why doraemon really succeeded..

well.. the anime is still cute and nice la.. Midori No Hibi (Midori's days) .. when i watch, i find the storyline is nonsense.. a girl connected to a hand of a guy.. but this anime's strength's is on character development... a romance anime la... the dream of being physically connected with the person u like.. literally


haha.. well.. its a good anime.. haha.. anyways, we are frens.. its a dream.. although such dreams are futile, we sure get pleasure watching them fulfilled in the fictional world... haha next time, besides jus watching anime, lets really go help others in need.. wif wad i hav and wad u hav given to us... thats the closest we could do..


heres one thing i cud tell ppl... we all seek bgr so desperately in this kind of time... i can tell you its a temporary satisfaction... love novels have such a thrill.. esp in love triangles, we see people need to make a choice their other partner.. dun u tink thats so tragic.. having to make one decision.. instead.. i learnt that..

foster frenship is the more important thing.. dun need to make a choice.. jus be good frens.. sometimes i even feel finding a gf nowadays is easier than finding a true fren.. although the problem now is.. most of us wan a physical feeling of a partner, the desire to share our thoughts with them, plus the feeling produced through a chemical by our brain when we are in love.. i cant say whether i can keep up to my words.. but really, establishing strong friends is the most important.. once u hav that, love comes naturally.. u dun hav to pick a choice..

haha but yet.. hehe.. if it wasnt the desire for bgr driving me for so long.. i wud hav lost contact wif her.. a loss of a especially good person.. well.. let bgr drive you, but dun aim for love la.. haha.. if not i wudnt hav kept rh in my mind for so long.. haha

its only after the event, i can say to rh.. hey im sorry for treating you like a love target.. im sorry.. please let us just be frens once more.. simply good friends.. tomodachi!!

occasionally.. sadness comes knocking.. i realised this is forever.. not a dream u can wake up from.. but still when i look towards the future wad i hav to do for this world.. plus the thought i kept in my heart.. relief comes straight away..


i wen out wif my fren a few days ago.. went near airport.. we were outside la, my fren wen inside settle something.. so as i wait outside in the open air.. of coz the sadness comes.. during this time, i realised our eyes cudnt see everything.. we cudnt see heaven and all things invisible.. (if u dun understand wad im talking, ignore it).. loneliness seeped in.. but i also thought lots of things.. told her lots of things also.. well every person has to be lonely at least once.. i learnt that while i may still miss her.. there are times i hav to go thru alone myself



then today when i turned on the TV.. it turned on Central.. the screen showed: "Time" it was a documentary investigating how people age.. well at this time, it sure seemed interesting to me.. because we all know we age and will die.. it is inevitable.. there was this moment they said:

researchers discovered: humans were not made to die..


(ok this part will sound like im trying to spread gospel.. u can start skipping.. why i use purple color to highlight? there are no significant meanings in this color.. its just a highlight so u noe where to skip :S)

it reminded me of wad my counselor said to me.. God did not made humans to die.. it wasnt in our build.. just as the researchers found.. some other factors are attacking our cells.. the sophisticated repair system our bodies contains.. well most of u can guess wad is this factor.. the christian perspective.. just saying that researchers hav found themselves



in the last part.. they asked people holding a bottle of.. wierd liquid.. : "If this is an elixier of life.. would u drink it?"

mixed responses.. most wud want to live forever though..

me? i personally dun wan.. i wan to die some day.. anyway even if i drink the elixir, its not a sure "i will never die" thing.. accident, diseases.. like her.. we do not hav to age to die..

but why i dun wan? the sorrows and pains of this world will eventually lead me to suicide anyway.. (NO!! IM NOT GOING TO SUICIDE NOW!! i noe the pains my frens n relatives will go thru.. if everyone simply because of sadness suicides.. humanity wudnt hav survived this far.. everyone must bear other's feelings at heart.. besides.. i have yet to offer my aid to this world.. and no, pink color doesnt hav a significance)

anyone knows what is my 'thinking pose'? haha coz i really tend to do this action when im in deep thinking.. until i realised it myself.. haha thats when i use my hands cover my mouth.. now i do it consciously even.. its some sort of relaxing to me..

second, there is mode that when im in it.. i really get alot of ideas.. thats when im sitting alone and eating something.. be it noodles or anything.. e quietness and simple act of eating.. thats when my brain really think alot of things..

the music thats playing now, thats my favourite music.. since im young.. its a game i played at primary 5.. a game im still replaying now.. a VERY GOOD rpg.. but i shown to alot of ppl liao.. most get turned off.. but the storyline is topnotch.. something i will replay again and again.. and the music is super beautiful.. this music i never get bored of it.. my favourite piece of music.. its very nostalgic.. the sadness of saying goodbye..


time to find a job~