my real situation

jus copy from wad i type in chatbox to here la.. at least it doesnt disappear..

the first thing is wad alot ppl noe already.. but some didnt noe its related to me.. kk the vjc gal incident... i know her.. i waited for that gal for 7 years.. yes so tis is e current situation..

after 2.5 days of grieving, i tried to keep a positive outlook on her death.. it worked for 1.5 days.. which im able to stay cheerful for a while.. but then today, the pain came back.. today, in shivering grief, i jus suddenly felt like writing a will.. things i wan to say if i pass away.. a relative short one la.. who knows bout anything? hah.. can say i am on 1% suicidal thoughts.. (anyways, i wrote it inside my handphone haha.. includes my passwords..)

ya but i wont b so foolish la.. it jus didnt matter if i were to get into accident or anything.. jus now as e grief came back, i jus feel my heart pain and imagined how wud it b when rh's heart was bleeding.. anyways, there were things i regret.. i didnt find out her true feelings for me.. i had things i wanted to show her which is my project i did since i last communicated wif her.. finally, she didnt get to play in the harmonica concert, her passion..

e final note: for christians.. for other ppl, please dont take tis into mind.. u dun realise how much pain it was.. n ppl still joke bout death.. u r also e worst at handling death matters.. baka
meanwhile, if any one of u is planning to redirect me religiously, be warned i'll be very very very very very angry.. i've already once in my mind imagined to punch a pastor..

anyways, i had found out alot of significant things.. (but not significant enuff to change the deadly fact anyway) i will tell u all about it (btw its nothing personal one..)


tags: rui hua , vjc , victoria jc , junior college , 17 , sherman , st hilda's , shss , st hildas , st hilda , yumin , yps